Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn’t seem to be working. —Anonymous
If a man speaks in the forest, and there’s no woman around to hear him... Is he still wrong?
It’s getting late earlier —Yogi Berra
Nobody goes there anymore...it’s too crowded.
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world’s great literary works in Braille.
Death is nature’s way of saying, "Your table’s ready." —Robin Williams
It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. —Dan Quayle
The draft is white people sending black people to fight yellow people to protect the country they stole from red people. —James Rado
Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business. —Dave Barry
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. —Dave Barry
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.